Dating as a single mother

I was raised by a single mother, and every now and then we swap stories of our struggles and joys. There is one story that we can’t seem to relate, and that is dating. My mother believes that once you have kids and you become a single parent, you stay that way until your kids have grown. I believe that if you find someone that loves you and love your kids, you can add a little extra to their lives with that extra person. For example: if you do find that person and you marry, two incomes are always better than one and when you have another person there to help out physically, you have more energy and patience. I do understand where my mother is coming from too. It can be a little dangerous --dragging people in and out of your life; not to mention your kid’s lives.

The hardest part about dating is feeling like you are wasting time. Once you have kids, you are dating for a purpose; you want to know where it is headed and how long it will take to get there. But what happens when it all comes to an end? Do you look for someone else? Do you give it another shot, or do you settle in to your single mother hood?

Time out for "me"!

Time away with friends, or “me” time alone just to chill are times that come few and far in between. As a single parent, there is no such thing as “me” time.

Sometimes I look at it as always having a date, a companion or someone to confide in. But then there are those times that I want an adult’s perspective; those times when I want to know the person I am speaking to knows what the hell I am talking about.

The sad part is when my five year old says something that an adult would actually say. Those are the times that I insist on finding an adult to talk to and another kid for my son to play with. The last thing I want is to stress him out with my adult problems, and possibly force him to grow up so fast that he cannot relate to other kids.

I think it is definitely important for single parents to take time out for them, not just for their sake, but for the sake of their kids. Although you sure miss the hell out of them when their gone :(

The "Joys" or "Sacrifices" - Each day represents a new choice

Lately, I have been pondering over the idea of having another child. I am a single parent, so the idea of adding to the many sacrifices of my current day to day seems ludicrous. Or does it? Some days, the same idea excites me, as this may bring more joy and animation to my life.

Maybe the sacrifices of being a single mother of one are the same as being a single mother of two. What do you think?

One of my girlfriends, Candy, and I had an interesting discussion the other day after I asked her if she felt she was missing out because she had kids. I asked her if it was worth it. I explained how there are times when I get a little envious of the other girls, we grew up with, when they can take off on long weekends whenever the opportunity presents it’s self. Then we both wondered (aloud) how lonely they must get on the weekends they are home alone.