About ten years ago I would have given the person who would ask such a question that look. You know that look - you are asking “you don’t know; where you been, under a rock someplace?” Today, however, I am not sure I know the answer to this question myself. Back in the day, a friend with benefits would have been someone who did not want a relationship, but could offer great sex and a few extra dollars whenever you needed. For some women, this is still an ideal relationship. But for most, especially single mothers, a man that comes like a thief in the night snatching good sex that should be saved for “your man” and leaving change on the table before he leaves, is more like an enemy than a friend.
Today, I think a friend with benefits would be just the opposite. He would be a real friend that you can hang out with and share thoughts with. He would be someone who is not expecting sex or a relationship in return. He may offer his help from time to time just like any friend would, but not in that trade off attitude that most guys have.
So I guess the real questions is not “what is a friend with benefits?” but “where are the men that would make a good friend with benefits?” Do they even exist??
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2 comments:
A friend with benefits is just that a (friend), for I'm one of those women. I would ask myself if there was one guy out there that I could chill with but with out haven to commett to are be in a relationship with. One day I ran into a old High School friend of mine and we talked, exchanged numbers. After the first phone call, it has been 5yrs. So yes there is a such thing as freinds with benefits and it could work for anyone. My friend and if we're not on the phone or hanging out of the town, are we're just laying around the house (his or mine) watching TV. So ladies a friend with benefits can be good, but you just have to know that this is for you, because it works for me.
I think the big question is - how long does this type of relationship last? At what point do you feel limited and want more?
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