Sacrifice for True Love - Part II

It is so nice to have real comments. I like to believe that my posts are worth talking about, and apparently this one was. So, big, huge “thank you” to Eyes Q and Gene for contributing these insightful comments:

Eyes Q - Awe, that is really sweet, but I have to disagree. Perhaps that is because I don’t have children. I really feel that when you are a single mother you have a "handicap" like anyone else i.e. minorities, women, gays. You just have to work that much harder to accomplish those goals and raise your children. You have a motivator that a lot of us don’t have. Who says you can’t do it all? I was reading an article in money magazine a little while back and they discussed a single mother who had managed to create a wonderful life for both herself and her 4 year old son. She said that she just knew there was no longer a choice; she had to work harder and make sure that things worked out. I don’t think single parents, mothers or fathers, should use their children as a crutch, but to drive them to pursue even more outlandish dreams.

Gene - I agree to a certain extent, but what I got out of it was the fact that once you have a kid, your life changes. That also includes your dreams. It isn’t to say you are letting your dreams go; you just want something different now. As individuals get older and mature the point-of-view on life changes for the most part. Having a child is a life changing experience. Parents look at the world with different lenses than those who don’t have kids.

Tanisha - When a single mother says that she realizes there are some dreams that will have to be put on the back burner, she is not saying that she has completely given up. She is being realistic with herself, which is a requirement of being a good mother. We all know of mothers who are not willing to make that sacrifice, and their children end up suffering and paying the price for their selfishness.

The example offered in Money Magazine is where a single mother starts. Of course we can make it; making it is a given. It’s the extras that we’re talking about here. How often will I have to give up my extras in order to provide for my child??

Let's be real here, I know that I could do so much more financially if I did not have my son’s daycare, clothes, activities, etc... to pay for. The point is, I had to re-evaluate my plans, goals, etc... And, it’s true – some goals and desires have changed because I am a different person now, and some of what was important to me is no longer a desire.

In the beginning of this post, I gave examples of big sacrifices and little sacrifices. I feel that those realistic things that are in reach - while I am a single mother - are those small sacrifices that I may have to put off a paycheck, month, year or years, but are still obtainable goals and will happen. And the big sacrifices are the ones that many single mothers may have to put off for later, but fortunately for us – we have a much better trade off, so it’s still all good!