Don't look for Mr. Right, wait for Mr. Right

As single mothers, we sometimes want a man so bad that we find ourselves tweaking the wrong man and trying to make him into the right man that seems to fit perfectly into our lives.

When I thought of this post, I was relaxing in my tub thinking of the outfit I planned to wear the next day. I was trying to match up the outfit with shoes I had in my closet. I thought to myself – “I really need a new pair of shoes; something everyday that will go with practically anything.” I started envisioning these shoes. Then I started thinking about how closely related shopping for shoes is to looking for a man.

See the problem with shoe shopping is we end up buying a shoe that is close to what we originally envisioned as the PERFECT shoe. We tell ourselves that the shoe that we were looking for is probably not out there, and we convince ourselves to buy the shoe that looks good and is close to what we want. I don’t know – maybe this is only my personal shoe shopping experience, but many times I end up buying those shoes and then later finding the shoes that was even closer to what I wanted. The problem is – I have worn the shoes and tweaked my outfit to the point that the shoes that I bought, although they hurt my feet, seem to work or at least work for that outfit.

On the flip side – we sometimes find ourselves shopping for a man in the same way. We look for someone who looks good, and can be easily tweaked to fit our lives – similar to shoe shopping and tweaking. The difference is – those shoes usually end up in the closet with all our other shoes and only see daylight when we pull that outfit out.

The point I am trying to make is – unlike shoes, you cannot tweak a man to fit your life. Men are who they are, and you are who you are. Unless you are willing to change who you are, and tweak yourself to fit him and who he is, then chances are – the same man that you met is the same man that he will remain no matter how hard you try to change him to fit perfectly into your life.