Many single mothers entering the dating scene after many years may quickly realize that things have not changed much. Men generally are all the same…full of games and many tactics and strategies to make you fall for them before they fall for you. Men have a basic way of protecting their feelings – become the chase, not the chaser.
Some may argue that men are always the chaser, but I will argue that men will chase, but it’s all a sophisticated tactic to keep you running behind them, not the other way around. Just think about it for a second, when you first meet a man you are introduced to one of two kinds of men – a really aggressive one or very nonchalant one. Very aggressive tactics are reserved for women who are dying to get and keep a man. Being very nonchalant may work on those women who have been hurt and vow to never get caught up again. These tactics are designed to 1} be the exact man you’ve been praying for by telling you everything you want to hear or 2} being slightly distant enough to become a good friend and learn all the things not to do, do all the right things and become the challenge you cant resist; either way its time to pull out your running shoes.
To be honest, these are smart tactics. No one wants to get hurt; and being hurt behind your man or woman is the worst kind of hurt. Most men are smart and will take special care in protecting their feelings by making sure they have your heart before they give you theirs.
Men fall much slower, but much harder than women. That’s why they are so careful about holding on to their feelings so long, because they realize that once they’re gone, their gone. So don’t be so quick to rush a man into a relationship. Allow him room to protect his feelings and yours while you get to know each other. The care that he puts into protecting his own feelings may be the same care that he later uses to protect yours.
We all have “tactics” or a way of protecting ourselves. Getting to know and trust someone before you give them your heart is smart…no matter what tactic you use.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
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