Making men out of boys

Ah, ha! You thought this post was going to be about men who act like boys. Well although that is an interest topic, I am here today to talk about something much more important. And that is making sure some young lady, twenty years from now of course, is not looking your son strait in the eye talking about “didn’t yo mama teach you….”

So how does a single mother teach her young son how to one day become that man that she is proud of?

Although I am sure there are a number of things a man would do different, which all should be at the least researched by a single mother, the most important - I think - is to realize that she is not a man and truly does need the guidance of a man from time to time. However, she should also realize that she is more than capable of raising a God fearing, hard working, and respectable man.

I think there are two mistakes that are very common among single mothers raising sons, and those are:

# 1 - Being overly confident in her task of raising a man – we, as single mothers have to accept the fact that there are some things that a man is going to know how to do better when it come to being man. We can research and read book after book, but we are not going to know everything about standing in front of a urinal, or how to ease the fears of approaching a woman for the first time, and several other things your son will one day experience. I think it is easy for us to imagine what men go through while they are growing into their manhood, but the truth is - men are different from women. And although children go through some of the same experiences while growing up, we will only be able to relate to and remember how it was to experience those events as a female, not as male; and many times the appropriate approach is different. Accepting this fact will help us identify those situations that may be more appropriate for a man to teach, or at least be part of the learning experience for the little men in our lives.

# 2 - Not being confident enough in her task of raising a man – I guarantee you there will be times that you will need to rise to the challenge, and be that man that you wish was there to take control over the situation. And unfortunately, it may be a time where pulling “but, I’m lady” card is not an option. Raising boys into men is hard work, but our boys need us to stay strong and not punk out when those difficult situations arise. Teaching your son how to deal with the pressures of the world, and still respect himself and the people around him, might one day prove to be your most important and difficult task. As a mother, our job is to comfort and nurture, but being there to pat him every time he fails at something may not be the answer. You may have to explain how sometimes, even when you have done it all right, life may still be unfair.